29/12/25

Every time I write down the date, it feels a little unreal.

Time just keeps moving, little by little, quietly, and once it’s gone, it won’t come back.

Today I suddenly thought of Beans.

In that moment, I felt it so clearly and strongly: I’m truly grateful I met him.

In those four months of living and traveling together, we went through love and emotions that were so intense, like a wave that pushed both of us deep into ourselves, and into each other.

Yes, there was heartbreak, the kind that goes all the way through you.

But we also really, really loved.

And we were genuinely happy, too.

He taught me so much: about love, responsibility, vulnerability, joy, giving, courage, tenderness, hope, and longing.

And he also helped me see how much in me is still unhealed, how much I still have to learn, how I’m still becoming someone softer, and also steadier.

I still remember the first time we said goodbye outside Zorzal.

He left a small kiss at the corner of my mouth, almost there and almost not.

A little goofy, a little nerdy, like a teenager, nervous and sincere, a little tentative, so tender it made my heart soften.

A kiss that was so Beans.

The him who carried softness beneath his boyish goofiness.

The him who loved with a kind of youthful sincerity, still learning the depth of what love could ask of him.

The him who was tender and attentive, so full of love and kindness,

The him, with each other, we both became the version of ourselves that almost childlike in our honesty.

The him who once made me truly want to build a home together.

The him I truly loved.

The him I used to call “my Beans.”